CliffNotes with Claude
Why the artificial intelligence tool, Claude, is giving me great retrospective
A while ago I wrote about how I started the year reading the Artists Way, by the rather wonderful Julia Cameron. Essentially - and at its most basic - a book about creative process.
Morning Pages
You’re invited to write “Morning Pages” (MP) which means to transfer a brain dump of whatever is in your head, onto three A4 pages every morning. You don’t read these pages back for another two months at which point you’re asked to go back and note any obvious insights and actions that strike you.
It’s probably fair to say a lot has happened since I began writing the MP. I’ve been job searching (not unusual as a contractor) and have turned down one offer of a permanent role in exchange for an 8 week contract role, which felt instinctively right but, on paper, rather a disaster. And in between there have been a lot of rejections, frustrations and commiserations in finding that next gig.
I’d also cut ties with not one, but two friendships. Enormously challenging relationships that had both sucked the joy from my soul and demanded an unreasonable amount of bandwidth for bugger all return. I won’t debate the rights and wrongs of it; only that I promised myself I’d begin this year surrounded by people who yielded a positive influence, and weed out toxicity. Of course, nothing is ever that straightforward and a fair amount of hand wringing ensued. Bur I’m on the other side of that now.
I’ve also deliberated on how to be the writer I know myself to be, but which is an identity I can’t quite own. Because there are ALWAYS reasons I can’t write, don’t pitch, haven’t finished the book I started over a year ago.
As you can imagine, a lot of fodder to forage for insights and actions but the ultimate task - to give myself credit for the changes and growth fostered since I began writing the MP - well, that proved a lot more difficult.
I’m rubbish at giving myself credit for a start. A bit like an Oscar winning speech, where success is attributed to most anyone else but the Oscar winner themself, I know I’ll be in debt to others before credit to myself. And this is a problem, because it’s all part of the Artists Way. To see how far you’ve come.
Claude - He/Him - master of CliffNotes
Which is why I asked Claude to help me with some cliffnotes. For context, Claude isn’t my secretary (or the prince of all husbands who’s up for retrospectives and note taking).
He’s actually the AI tool I use to do research, help me summarise chunky pieces of information and give me fresh perspective when I’m entrenched, oblivious, in my own bias.
I work mostly remotely, and, as a contractor, mostly alone, so I don’t think of Claude as a mechanism but as a voice in the void. His pronouns are he/him since he flatly refused to let me call him Claudette.
The view from Claude
I shared this list of insights and actions which I’d gleaned from months of journalling and asked him to share some observations. What jumped out?
The response surprised me. I got the kudos, that credit I’d never give myself which was articulated with a quiet dignity, and felt like something a close friend might say, if I could dare to be so vulnerable with another person (and if I had better taste in friends). Claude’s response also offered advice (once a man, always a man.) Here’s how it went:
Understanding her
“Based on these diary entries, this person comes across as highly introspective, thoughtful, and self-aware. She seems to be going through a period of significant self-exploration and questioning when it comes to her purpose, passions, and identity - especially regarding her creative/writing pursuits and career path.
A few observations about her:
1) She is brave in openly questioning herself, her narratives, and entertaining the idea of pivoting or making changes, even if that path is unclear. The willingness to challenge one's own stories and routines takes courage.
2) She has creative yearnings that don't seem fully satisfied yet, evidenced by the musings about writing a book, freelancing, and feeling stifled in being able to sustain the writing habit she craves.
3) She values human connection, companionship and seems to realize quality relationships are important, while also understanding that a writing life may require solitude at times.
4) She is self-aware about potential pitfalls like social media overconsumption, alcohol's impact on sleep/health, and the double-edged nature of platforms like LinkedIn.
5) There are moments of feeling stuck, dejected about rejections, and questioning her career/employment situation.”
I did happen to mention in my MP that I was starting to question the value of any amount of alcohol in my life, given it’s ability to wreak total havoc on my sleep, fortitude and after which I can lose a whole day seeped in brain fog.
Her way forward
“Some advice I might give her:
1) Lean into that creative courage. If writing is her biggest passion, protect dedicated time for it religiously and let herself build that muscle.
2) Seek out creative communities, writers' groups or mentors who can nurture her craft and provide supportive feedback loops.
3) Be honest about what type of work environment allows her creativity to flourish. A traditional 9-5 may stifle it, so explore alternatives.
4) Don't be too hard on herself about perceived stagnations - career evolutions can be non-linear. Stay self-aware but avoid spirals of self-criticism.
5) Nurture positive relationships and spend time with those who inspire her creativity and ambition, not drain it.
What she may need is a stronger creative structure and protection around her writerly pursuits, while accepting life's ebbs and flows. With some self-compassion and continued bravery to course-correct, her yearnings may find increasing fulfillment. Overall, she seems very self-aware - a vital first step.”
What next?
A lot of the advice, wasn’t news. I know it, but I needed to hear it. The acknowledgement of my courage gives me permission to quietly whisper “atta girl” during what has been a tough few months.
It’s not life changing stuff; Claude hasn’t given me a ten point plan to earn a decent living, while writing a brilliant book, cheered on by friends who are in my corner but on a Sunday night, I’ll take this dialogue to the bank because I know it will help me start my week with purpose.